Tragedy's & Heartache
by mkbabe101
Summary: Meredith is returning to work after time off. After leaving on a bad note with Derek will things ever get any better? or are there tragedy's in sight? R&R! Disclaimer: I do NOT own grey's anatomy or any of the characters, only those that you do not know.
1. First Day Back

It was just another day in Seattle, when Meredith was rudely awoken from the dream she had been having of the wedding day that she longed for.

"Hello? Hello? HELLO? Whoever this is will you please stop calling me at every waking moment of every bloody day?" after yelling at the silent caller, she slammed the phone down so hard, she broke it.

"Damn! Now look what they made me do!" Meredith knew that from that point onwards, she was not going to have a good day.

Stepping through the hospital doors, Meredith knew that she was in for trouble, she didn't know who with or when, but she just felt that she was in for trouble.

"Hey Mer, wow! Whats up with you this morning?" Izzie piped as soon as she saw Meredith walking through the hospital main entrance.

"Hey Iz im fine now if you wouldn't mind, I have a shift to finish, and today im bright and shiny! Who cares if my knight in shining whatever doesn't turn up, im bright and shiny and new. Oh, by the way have you seen Addison? I really need to ask her about something"

"Can't say I have sorry Mer, ill tell Alex that you're looking for her, he's been assigned to her again this week. I swear there is totally something going on between them two"

"Maybe you're right Iz but I don't really wanna get involved in all that gossip again, look at what happened to me that last time I got involved?" Meredith suddenly bit her lip trying to forget what happened last time. Meredith quickly had to change the subject before it was too late.

"So, uh how are the wedding plans going? Is Denny coping with all the stress? You have to make sure that he rests! After all, he has just come home after extensive heart transplant surgery"

"I know, I tell him to calm down but he insists and I come home to him outta breath and he worries me sick. I mean, he jogs 3 times a week, runs around looking for venues and churches, and suits and cakes, and everything else. He is even looking for a dress! I mean I have told him so many times that I have worn the words out that the dress is the girl's decision. I mean can you really see me walking down the aisle in a midnight blue wedding dress? I mean seriously? Seriously?"

"Seriously! Seriously? Oh my god! You should just tell him to calm down before he gives himself a hernia or worse! And a midnight blue wedding dress isn't actually that bad! Anyways im seriously late now so I must get going before my interns run riot!"

"See you at lunch?" Izzie looked wishful that they would be able to continue their conversation in their lunch break.

"Depends, if im not in hot surgery then yeah" Meredith couldn't help herself and replied with a little wink. Meredith has only gone up one flight of stairs when she heard the one person she had been trying to avoid for the past week or so

"Meredith, Meredith please wait up Meredith!"

"Derek I don't have time for this I really don't im late as it is! Please just leave me alone! You ignored me when I needed you the most you ran off with…..with…" Meredith's voice began to trail off, didn't feel too good and could feel her head spinning but was still persistent to work and to get Derek to leave her alone "Meredith, Meredith, are you ok? You look kinda pale"

"Like I said Derek, Leave me ALONE!!!!"

"Meredith im concerned about you, you look pale come on and let me take a look at you. Meredith im only doing this because I love you, and I mean that, you are my world, I love you so much I only ran off to Addie to tell her that it was over between me and her and that I wanted a divorce"

"LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE WILL YOU…"

Suddenly Meredith found it hard to breathe, Derek tried his best to help her but she fell to the floor and was unconscious.

"Meredith! Mer baby please come on don't do this to me! SOMEONE HELP WE NEED A CRASH TROLLEY OVER HERE CODE BLUE CODE BLUE!!!!"


	2. Don't Do This, Not Now!

People were rushing around when Miranda came in. she took one look at Meredith and had to turn around. Meredith was her resident, her sister-in-law, the one who helped save her life in the crash that took her husbands life. With tears in her eyes she looked back down at Meredith's now white face and blue lips. She remembered when she last looked like this 3 years before hand when Derek pulled her outta the water.

She finally plucked up enough courage to talk, but not without a lump in her throat.

"Has someone paged the chief? He is gonna wanna know what is happening to her. Push 1 of epi. Let's get her on the bed and into a room please, we don't really want a public display peoples"

"What have we got?" Burke was only on his 2nd shift back after he abandoned Christina at the altar. When he saw Meredith he was shocked. It had been 3 years since he had last seen her in this sort of state. It choked him to say the least.

"We have pushed 1 of epi and am sending her up for a CT scan. MRI came back clear" Miranda was no longer able to keep herself composed. That was her first intern, the first intern to stand up to her, the first intern that had ever helped her out, and the first intern to manage to bribe her with a mocha latte. She just couldn't hold back the tears no more. She couldn't let the others see her so she ran outta the room as fast as she could. She finally came across the storage room, went in and locked herself in.

"Please dear god let her be ok, don't let her die, let her live, please just let her live"

Miranda continued to cry hoping no-one would hear her when someone tried to open the door.

"Hello? Meredith are you in there? Meredith it's me Izzie"

"What do you want?" Miranda exclaimed after wiping her tears and flinging the door wide open.

"Oh, its you, sorry I thought that was Meredith in there. I heard she had a run in with Derek and I thought that that was her in there crying. Was that you in there crying? Whats happened?"

"Izzie, you don't know do you? I swear to god you tell anyone that you heard or saw me crying I will kill you and make it look like an accident you understand me?"

"Clear as broad day light but that still doesn't explain, what don't I know?"

"Izzie, you better sit down Mer…"

"No I don't want to sit down! Oh my god! What has happened? Is she dead?" Izzie gasped and dreaded to think about what could have happened and began to slowly lower herself onto the floor.

"Izzie, she and Derek had a run in in the stairway corridor, Meredith couldn't breathe and then……and then…"

Miranda couldn't say no more, she was already bursting into tears at the very thought of Meredith and the last thing she ever said to her.

"Where is she now?" Izzie tried so hard to wipe the tears away but it was no use, the tears just kept falling as she remembered the last time Meredith was like this.

Christina had just scrubbed into surgery when she got paged, she ignored it.

"Aren't you going to answer your page Dr. Yang?" Dr Langson asked

"Im not finished here though, ill answer it after, after all it's not a 911!"

"I think that you would find that it is Dr. Yang 911 for a Dr. Grey?" the scrub nurse looked surprised, she was new and didn't really know anyone yet.

"Shit! Meredith! Sorry er Dr. Langson I have to go" Christina said as she was already walking towards the scrub room to scrub out of surgery and out of her scrubs.

Christina began to run towards the emergency room that she had been paged to, not bothering saying sorry to the people she barged out of the way on her way.

When she arrived, she gasped. Meredith was in there, hooked up to the same machines she was hooked onto when she almost drowned.

"Whats her stats? Is she stable? Is she going to be ok?" Izzie was panicking and everyone knew about it.

"Izzie calm down! She is in a critical but stable condition. The next 48 hours are going to be the real challenge. What happens in that amount of time will tell us her stability. However, she may be our best friend but you need to stay strong for her for when she wakes up."

"You're telling me to be strong? What if she never wakes up? She nearly didn't last time!"

"That was different. The circumstances are different! Izzie calm down!"

"This morning she was talking to me and listening to how much I hated the colour of my wedding dress that Denny picked. And now….and now…" tears started streaming down her now pale white cheeks. She couldn't bare to watch her best friend lay there motionless. She turned and ran. She managed to make it out of the hospital where she threw up. _There are so much more I need to tell her, I never got the chance to tell her that she is going to be an aunty and a godmother. I didn't get to give her the letter that Derek had given to me to give to her for when she had started her rounds._

All these things filled her head as she slumped down the side of the hospital wall. She was no longer holding back her tears and they were just flooding out, not stopping.

She didn't even notice George was walking towards her.

"Hey, whats wrong? Iz talk to me please?"

"It's… its Meredith..." she was sobbing so much that people looked at her and looked back at her as they walked past.

"What's happened? Is she pregnant? Is she having an ectopic? Iz spit it out!"

"No-one knows. She just collapsed when she ran into Derek. Im so scared George!"

"Get Addie on her case as soon as you can, I can't say anything now as I have to go do something I should have done ages ago. Just trust me if you want to save her life, then get Addie."

"George, your not making any sense. What's going on?! I demand you tell me NOW!!!!"

"I HAVE TO GO!" George ran off before Izzie had a chance to catch him. He was remembering what Meredith had told him 3 weeks ago when he caught her throwing up for the 6th morning that week.

"_I swear you tell anyone, I mean it George I want to keep this a secret"_

"_But you will start to show in a couple of months, and what about the baby's father? Does he know?"_

"_The baby has no father; the father is an ass who ran off with his wife that I knew nothing about!"_

"_Mer, you are not alone with this! Im here for you, seriously I am, I may not be the best guy for the job but im more than happy to help you raise the little fella with you, he may not be mine but I will help!"_

"_Oh George! What are you like? And yes I know that I have your help but I couldn't reli on you for all the sleepless mornings PLUS sleepless weeks due to long shifts at the hospital and the feeding and the diaper changing. It's too much for me to ask you. Just knowing that you will be here for me when I need you most is the best kinda help that you could ever give me"_


	3. Secrets Out!

**Disclaimer: I Unfortunately Do NOT own Grey's Anatomy or any of the characters, only those that are mine.**

* * *

"Um, Dr. Bailey may I have a word with you please? It's kinda urgent" George was shaking. He was about to expose Meredith's secret and he knew that she was going to kill him when she came round.

"O'Malley, can you not see that we have a very delicate situation on our hands? You will have to wait until we are done here. There is no way I am letting Meredith die, no way!"

"Dr. Bailey, you WANT to talk to me, it's about Meredith, she…" he stopped before he was able to finish his sentence. He slid down the wall, sat on the floor and bowed his head as if in shame.

"O'Malley, what is it? Spit it out! She what? COME ON O'MALLEY! SHE IS DYING IN THERE AND YOU'R KEEPING SECRETS?"

"SHE'S PREGNANT! She is 4 months gone. She told me not to say anything. And seeing her like that, I knew I had to. She is pregnant." George pulled out a scan from his pocket. Meredith had given it to him before she took 2 weeks leave.

"_Here, look at this."_

"_What is it?" George looked at Meredith who had a huge smile beamed across her face._

"_Just open it and see!" George quickly open the card to reveal a scan_

"_Im nearly 4 months gone. I still haven't told anyone, you still haven't have you?"_

"_You told me to keep it a secret and that is what I am doing. You're my best friend Mer, I couldn't, I mean I wouldn't do that to you, or anyone else for that matter"_

"_Good! Anyways, im thinking of expanding the house and doing the garden real nice"_

"_Seriously? Wow! Sounds amazing!"_

Meredith was going to kill him for opening his mouth. Sooner or later the one person who she wanted out of her life was going to find out about her condition, and the news was going to reach him whether Meredith liked it or not.

"We need Dr. Shepherd here now. Somebody page her, someone get me the portable ultrasound machine please. Stat!"

Everybody was moving around too fast for Izzie's liking when she collapsed in George's arms.

"Izzie, are you ok?" George sounded worried, he was already worrying about Meredith and now Izzie had collapsed.

"Yeah im fine I just need to…" Izzie managed to get up and run to the toilet just in time. She knew that she was going to throw up every morning, but the anti-nausea medication she had prescribed herself should have been working by now.

"Izzie, are you sure that you are ok?" George ran into the room and witnessed what he had caught Meredith doing. Was Izzie pregnant too? Why were they both hiding it from him and Christina?

"Yes im fine!" Izzie snapped whilst flushing the chain and leaving the toilet.

"Izzie, are you…are you pregnant too?"

"Yes, yes I am George. And what do you mean too? Is Callie pregnant?"

"No, no, no, Meredith is. She is carrying McDreamy's McBaby!" Both Izzie and George had a giggle at that. No-one, not even Meredith had said McDreamy in a while.

"Izzie, who is the father?"

"What do you mean George? There is only one person who can be the…." Izzie began to trail off as memories of the one night stand she had with George came flooding back to her.

"George, back off yeah? I don't need this right now! Meredith is lying in there and might die! And all you can think of is the father of this baby! It's not your's George! You have Callie! I have Denny! Im getting married! It's Denny' baby and that's final! Now if you don't mind my friend needs me!" Izzie pushed past George making him knock over the suture kit that was neatly placed on the table that was outside of the patient's room near the toilets.

"Izzie wait!" George tried to call after her but she just carried on walking as if she heard nothing.

_What if George is right? What if he is the dad? What if Denny finds out? He was in hospital at the time. What if Callie finds out? What if Denny finishes it with me? What if he has a heart attack over all of the stress? What if?_

All the way back to Meredith's room, Izzie had what if's running through her mind. If George was the father then what was she to do? Was she to tell Denny and Callie? Or should she just tell George that the baby is Denny's?

* * *

well there you have it. the secret is now out! what will happen now? please read on. thanks for the rating but can i please have some more rates and reviews?


	4. Afterlife Awakenings

Tragedy's and Heartache.

By the time Izzie got back to Meredith's room, Derek had arrived.

"You paged me 911 for Meredith. Is she ok? Whats happening?"

"Dr. Shepherd, you shouldn't have been paged, we paged the other Dr. Shepherd, Addison."

"Why do you need my ex-wife down here? Whats going on? TELL ME WHATS GOING ON GOD DAMMIT!"

"DEREK CALM DOWN!!!! Some one get him out of here NOW!" Dr. Bailey was losing her patience. Derek was meant to stay at home and out of the way. Now someone had messed up the paging and paged Derek instead of Addison.

"Somebody page Dr. ADDISON shepherd and stat! And where is that god damn portable ultrasound monitor?"

"Dr. Bailey, Addison is on her way down now. There are no portable ultrasound kits available at this moment in time"

"FOR GODS SAKE SOMEONE PAGE THE CHIEF!!!!"

The gasp Christina let out said it all; she collapsed when she took it all in.

"Wha….wha….what happened? Is…. Is she going to be….alright?" Christina couldn't breathe, she was gasping for air. Her lips turned blue and she started to shake from the imaginary cold breeze. Burke ran over to her and gave her an oxygen mask. After about 15 minutes in Burke's arms she began to return to reality.

She looked out of the window that looked upon the nurse's station that was located outside of Meredith's room. There stood George, Izzie, and now the Chief who had just walked towards the room. Alex cam running down the hall towards the room.

"What happened? How is she? Does anyone know what is going on?" Alex was getting agitated.

"We don't know. All we know is that they have paged Addison. Alex im so scared"

"I know." Izzie rested on Alex's chest as Alex pulled her into a hug. Christina was backing away all the while.

"I can't do this. Not again. Nu uh no way." Christina ran out of the corridor towards the stairwell.

"Christina" Izzie called after her but it was no use.

"Iz, just leave her, she will come back. She did last time, its just a little hard on her, you know seeing "_her person"_ like that in that sort of state again. It's hard. Especially after her dad and all of that stuff."

"Just, shut up, just shut up." Izzie pulled herself closer into Alex's chest. She couldn't bare it any longer. Meredith was her person too. Alex was just staring. He had secrets of his own that he wanted to tell Meredith but could never find the right time to tell her. All he wanted was for her to pull through so that he could tell her his news. News that would shock both himself and Meredith.

"What the hell?" Dr. Bailey was watching her heart monitor carefully. Meredith heart rate was increasing, and then stopped.

"Code blue, code blue, gimmie those paddles! NOW!"

"Charge to 120, clear?"

"Clear" there was still no change.

"Still no input. Push 1 of epi stat."

All the while Meredith was waking up, somewhere where she had been before and never wanted to return to again.

"Hey Mer. What are you doing back here?"

"I don't know, I don't know mom. Im so scared. I can't breathe."

"It will pass baby, you just gotta ride it." Ellis was growing concerned with her daughter's appearance in the afterlife. She knew that she didn't have much time left and was beginning to panic that her daughter would never return to her body and live the rest of her life to the full.

"Mom, I don't want to be here anymore, why can't I go back? I didn't do anything. One minute I was arguing with Derek and the next…." Tears began to come streaming down Meredith's Cheek. She didn't want to be here, Ellis could see that, but before Meredith returned to her body, she needed to work out why she was there and not with her own body.

"Meredith do you remember me?" Meredith turned around to see the woman who died during childbirth, whom she had tried to save but only managed to save the baby.

"Yeah, your Liza, the woman who came in and had cardio arrest whilst giving birth."

"Yeah, you saved my babies life. I never did get to thank you, so I suppose ill say it now. Thank you. How is my little girl doing? Is she out of SCBU yet?"

"I think so. Alex is taking great care of her. He hasn't named her yet. I thin that he is still reeling from the fact that he is the father. He never ever thought that anonymous sperm donations came with a way of tracking him down." both Meredith and Liza laughed at that. Meredith remembered the day when Alex had told her that he was going to do something useful with his life and donate his sperm anonymously so that women who wanted a child could have one.

Suddenly Liz grabbed Meredith's hand and whispered into her ear,

"It's time for you to go back now sweety. Say hello to my baby girl. And please, please, PLEASE name the baby Jayda Louise. Goodbye Meredith, take care" Liza wrapped her arms around Meredith and said goodbye. A white light suddenly blinded her. It was then she knew that she was returning to her own body.

"Was that b-fib? I just saw b-fib! Hand me those paddles again! Charge 280 clear?"

"Clear"

"We have sinus rhythm, heart rate is improving." Dr. Bailey leaned in closer towards Meredith.

"Don't you ever do that to me again do you hear me? I mean it! I'll just leave you to die next time!"

And with that, Meredith starting to choke on the endotracheal tube that had been placed down her throat to help her breathe. Almost immediately the chief took it out. Meredith's eyes fluttered open. She tried to speak but couldn't. There was one person she wanted to talk to. But she couldn't see her. Where was Christina?

"Welcome back Dr. Grey. Addison is on her way down and then after that we will need to run some more tests just to try and find out what had caused you to collapse."

"Christina…..i…..i….w…want…..Christina"

"I'll page her now. Now get some rest." Dr. Bailey stroked her hair out of Meredith's face and kissed her forehead before exiting the room with everybody else. She was alone and she wanted her person there with her. But where was she? Why wasn't she there waiting for her like she was before?

- 2 -


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